I came online to write this,
Cos I had been thinking about you all day.
Doesn't matter if you get to read this or not,
If there's a chance,
I'll keep trying.

I haven't seen you since the 1st of June.
By now,
You should've realized that I don't subscribe to the,
"Out of sight, out of mind" theory.
My feelings have not changed a single bit.
I'm still in love with you.

If only you knew how much I love you,
Maybe then you would have given me another chance.
Remember the dreams that we shared?
Of a life together.
I'm still wishing and hoping.
Please come back to the one person,
Who loves you more than anything else in the world.

What are the odds of you still reading my blog?
Especially this one hidden in the corner?
Almost nil my love.
Almost nil.

I would gladly sell my soul to the Devil,
In exchange for a second chance to love you.

Said you were always gonna be mine,
And you bounced.
You chose him.
Does he love you like I do?
Will he love you like I do?
Maybe he'll do all those sweet angelic things,
That I never did for you.

My love is the kind that Satan will sing about.
I will suffocate you with my love.
One second of pleasure,
Followed by 10 of excruciating pain.
It hurt you to love me.
And you wanted no more of it.

You turned your back on someone,
Who could trust you with his life.
Someone who will lay down his life for you,
And you know I'm not lying.
Not bullshitting.
Not just waxing lyrical about the past.
When you closed your eyes at night,
You knew you were safe in my arms.
I will never harm you,
And I will never let you be harmed.
I never meant to hurt you.
I'm sorry for all the things I did,
All the words I said.
But it's just too late.
I failed to protect my love.
In the space of 2 months,
You gave your heart away to someone else.

I find it hard to write those sweet things anymore.
Because everyday it feels like hell.
You slammed the door in my face,
Acted as though I have no feelings.

Yes you committed homicide,
The day you made me fall in love with you.

It's alright even if you don't love me,
Because I'm still in love with you.

If you feel that I can't be the one,
Who can bring you happiness,
I'll understand.

But you'll still be the girl,
I hope to walk down the aisle with one day.

Don't tell me that you love me,
When you've fallen for someone else.

I was wondering,
If I should tell her to read Last days.
Then I thought,
It'll be nicer if she came across it herself.
And so I left it at that.

Now I'm sure she hasn't been checking here.
Because of the spark plug she left.
But how could she miss the words on the scrolling text?
Every word was meant for her.
And she knows the significance.

I'll leave it to fate.
Maybe once in a while,
She'll think of me and maybe chance upon this blog again.

Saw a box of mooncakes on the table today.
Reminded me of her instantly.
Of how we spent the last Mid-autumn festival together.

She bought me a lantern.
A japanese cartoon dog.
I don't know how to spell the name.
And she has a Buttercup for herself.

It was supposed to be a romantic stroll along the beach,
Carrying our lanterns.
She wanted to take a cab,
So we could go to the more deserted areas for some privacy.
But cheapo me insisted we walk,
And hell the whole East Coast was so damn crowded.

She was sooo pissed off with me haha.

And the wind was so strong,
We couldn't manage to light the lanterns at all.
She was going to kill me at any moment I think.
Luckily I thought of a way to light the candles inside the lanterns,
And in the end finally succeeded.

She had to leave early.
But we spent a few moments sitting by the beach,
With our pretty lil lanterns,
And her head lying on my shoulder.

How nice it would be if we can do this every year.

I'm not saving a little part of my heart for you.
There will be no soft spots either.
My entire heart belongs to you,
And only you.

I look at your pictures in the middle of the night,
When everyone else is asleep.
So I can let my guard down and cry.
I kiss the face I see on my monitor,
Knowing that I'll never touch your face again.

I sing to you when I'm all alone.
Sing to memories of us,
When we were so much in love.
I reach the high notes I never thought I could,
When I have only you in my heart.

I can still remember the way you smell.
I smile to myself when I think about you.
No one else needs to know what is inside my mind.

I check your blog everyday.
But it's dead.
Ironically,
The last entry came just before I got your blog working again.
I can't bear to read the things you wrote to me.
It hurts too much.

I'm just living in my own fantasy world of you and me.
Nobody loves you the way that I do.
I may be a dick but I love you and you can't deny that.

No Regrets

Tell me a story
Where we all change
And we'd live our lives together
And not estranged
I didn't lose my mind it was
Mine to give away
Couldn't stay to watch me cry
You didn't have the time
So I softly slipped away...

No regrets
They don't work
No regrets now
They only hurt
Sing me a love song
Drop me a line
Suppose it's just a point of view
But they tell me I'm doing fine

I know from the outside
We looked good for each other
Felt things were going wrong
When you didn't like my mother
I don't want to hate but that's
All you've left me with
A bitter aftertaste and fantasy of
How we all could live

No regrets
They don't work
No regrets
They only hurt
(We've been told you stay up late)
I know they're still talking
(You're far too short to carry weight)
The demons in your head
(Return the videos they're late)
If I could just stop hating you
I'd feel sorry for us instead

Remember the photographs (insane)
The ones where we all laugh (so lame)
We were having the time of our lives
Well thank you it was a real blast

Everything I wanted to be
Everytime I walked away
Everytime you told me to leave
I just wanted to stay
Everytime you looked at me and
Everytime you smiled
I felt so vacant you treat me like a child
I loved the way we used to laugh
I loved the way we used to smile
Often I sit down think of you for a while
Then it passes me by and think of
Someone else instead
I guess the love we once had is
Officially dead.